Rhonda was born to teenage parents, which later included an incarcerated father. Over the years of her life, she can never remember really knowing her father. Although her grandparents took her on many trips, to various Texas prison units she only knew his name and SPN number.  Talking to him through plexiglass or sitting on a stool across from him while he sat in 4x4x8 cage. At my young age, it seemed that he had at least 5 industrial locks bolted on the steel bars.  I didn’t know if I loved him, but I did know I was terrified of the experience of seeing him.  While my mother fought hard to give me the best life that she could as a single teenage mother, she would often tailor conversation by making sure to tell me, “Don’t make the mistake I did and get pregnant.” Or “I made a big mistake and got pregnant.”   Those words would pierce the core of me.  I would wrestle with my thoughts often asking God why he allowed my mother to have me.  As I grew older the words she spoke followed me like an unwanted shadow.  They changed my being; they stole my confidence.  With professional counseling, these occurrences were later identified as childhood trauma experiences. 
 
Childhood trauma can damage the root of who we are leaving core have destructive and lifelong effects on your emotional and physical health, even as an adult.  It’s important that we understand that childhood isn’t necessary physical abuse or caused by a parent. Childhood trauma may include physical violence, mental abuse, neglect, loss, or bullying to name a few.  This type of trauma often leads to isolation, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, feelings of guilt and shame, anxiety, anger, depression.  Childhood trauma has been known to increase risk developing mental health conditions, such as PTSD, addictive behaviors, depression, anxiety, panic disorders, chronic illnesses such heart disease. 
 
This book will help you start the process of self-evaluation.  If you are affected by trauma or mental health crisis, please seek professional by contacting the SAMHSA’s National Helpline, 1-800-662-HELP (4357) (also known as the Treatment Referral Routing Service), or TTY: 1-800-487-4889 is a confidential, free, 24-hour-a-day, 365-day-a-year, information service, in English and Spanish, for individuals and family members facing mental and/or substance use disorders. This service provides referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations.